Camp Joy

TFC (Teens For Christ) annual Camp Joy is coming up soon. This is a camp I went to from 6th grade to my Junior year. Anyway, I was asked to share Brett and I's "love story". They have a day where they split boys and girls and have a talk about purity and why you should wait for marriage. Wish I could be there to share this in person. I treasured my time there as a kid and would love to go back as a camp counselor someday. So this is "our story". Enjoy.

Wow. I’m anxious, excited, and hesitant about what all to share on this amazing journey of grace and goodness my gracious Heavenly Father has blessed me with—my marriage with Brett Allen Butler. If you’re expecting to hear all glitz and glamour you might as well hit up “P.S. I Love You” in theaters because that’s not what you’re going to hear from me today. Although I do feel like my life is bit of a romance novel, we have definitely had our ups and downs. Let’s cut to it and get to the raw stuff first.

To give you a bit of a background on us, Brett and I met online. It wasn’t on purpose, we weren’t seeking to find a “mate” on eHarmony or anything like that. It was a mix-up…come to find out a VERY GOOD mix-up. I was only 17 at the time (still in high school) living in Colorado Springs, and he was 20, working full-time, and going to school at Boise State University. We met in person very soon after our 1^st “meeting” online. We completely hit it off and our friendship turned into something way more than just friends. We got serious pretty fast—looking back at it, probably way too serious for my age. We would spend HOURS on the phone. He would fly/drive down as much as he could and managed to see me once a month until I got out of high school. He was cute, romantic, loved the Lord, plus I had scored an “older guy” who swept me off my feet and I was head-over-heels for. What more could a girl ask for?

Since we were dating long distance, the times that we did get to see each other were extremely difficult when it came to purity. The whole time he would be gone I would be longing for that physical touch—holding hands, hugging, and let’s be honest…kissing (of course). Temptation was always lurking. I’m so thankful that we both came from Christian homes, and that we did have that example being modeled for us. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be not to have that modeled in your home because our society has placed ZERO importance on purity. Sex sells and you see it EVERYWHERE. TRUST me it was a HUGE challenge to stay pure, but Brett and I made a pact with each other from the beginning that we were going to save ourselves for our wedding night.

I made some poor choices (and the thing is I knew they were poor choices and yet I continued to go down that path). After high school I went to Cosmetology school. I was thrown into a completely different world and was no longer sheltered in my private Christian school surroundings that I had been in since kindergarten. I got caught up in worldly things, started listening to the praises of man, became totally selfish and did things I regret. My main regret is putting my parents and Brett through hell. I was completely rebelling against my parents, broke things off with Brett (after being together for 3 years) to pursue a relationship with a non-Christian purely based on lust. I had so many people that cared about me telling me I’m going to end up getting really hurt. I couldn’t seem to get things straightened out. I was a complete mess. The guy who I KNEW was no good for me, pressured me to do things I did not feel comfortable with (and that I knew were wrong) had me wrapped completely around his finger. At the same time, I would be calling Brett on the side until one day he told me that I couldn’t be calling him anymore. It was too hard on him, and he just needed to be cut off from me. He was so kind in that conversation, and when he hung up the phone I felt a piece of me had died.

A month went by….the longest month of my life and something finally clicked. I know this “something” was the Holy Spirit. I honestly believe He put me through that junk at beauty school to show me just how perfect Brett was for me and he was the one Christ had chosen for me. Had I never experienced the way this “other” guy treated me, the things he stood for…I would never be able to appreciate everything Brett stands for. The two guys couldn’t be more opposite. I knew all of this in my heart, but now I had to face Brett and see if he had moved on, if he would forgive me, or if he would even answer his phone when I called.

To my surprise he did answer his phone and said “What took you so long?” He was patiently waiting for me, and eager to extend grace where it most certainly wasn’t deserved. My eyes are flooding with tears as I write this because I know I don’t deserve any of it. His love for me has been a model of how Christ loves the Church. He patiently waited, was always kind, and never kept any record of wrongs. Sounds a lot like 1 Corinthians 13 huh?

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails

On December 31, 2004 I married my best friend, and was able to give myself to him in a way that no other man would ever get from me. The Lord’s protection over my virginity was saved for him and such a special gift for only the two of us to share.

I can’t encourage you enough to save yourself for somebody who is going to love CHRIST more than he loves you. Save yourself for somebody who challenges you daily with your own walk with the Lord. A couple of weeks ago I was sharing with Brett my struggles to keep my quiet time a priority, and I was really needing some encouragement. Instead of being quick to judge, or just having my words go in one ear and out the other, he really made an effort to help. I’ve been waking up in the morning (long after my husband’s already been up and at work) to sticky notes placed on the remote control, treadmill, etc. that read “Have you done your quiet time yet? I love you.” Girls, that’s the kind of man you want to “give” yourself too. That’s the man you want standing beside you for the rest of your life, raising a family together—holding your hand through the good times and bad.

Brett and I have so much to learn. We are constantly running to our ever faithful Father’s arms for guidance and strength in regards to our marriage. We are so thankful for the Lord’s protection and truth that we can run to in difficult times. I pray that you all find your “Brett Butler”. He has been my greatest earthly blessing and I cherish every day I get to be with him.